Collision
by avrimari
Summary: Bella Swan is a 14 year old girl, an outsider.One day the Cullens move across from her and she meets Edward, who is 22. They become great friends.But will there be something more? All human, rated M for possible lemons in the far future.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer I just own the plot of this story. No copyright intended.**

**Ok so the story originaly said that bella was 13…I changed that and made her 14. This is my first fic so please be understanding…**** and also I apologize for any mistakes. Please review and tell me what you think or if you have any questions.**

**Collision**

**Chapter 1**

**The meeting**

BPOV

Today is the first day of school. This year is my first year of high school. I guess I should be excited or at least nervous, but I'm not. Maybe it's because I always liked school in a way, as I'm a straight A student. Or maybe it's because I have never had real friends. Well, acquaintances yeah. But friends, nope. I always sit on my own at lunch but I am okay with that. I get to read my favorite books again. That's one of the reasons why I don't have friends. People think I'm a crazy geek.

Only Angela Weber is good to me. She is a very nice girl. She has had a crush on Ben Cheney since we were 10. We are alike in many ways but we have a very important difference. She's one of the popular kids, even here, whereas I'm a loner, an outsider. You may think I'm weird, but I like the way things are.

Besides, I have my brother and sister to help me when I need it. My brother, Emmet, is a senior in high school this year and my sister Alice is a junior. You would think that we would fight and argue often but not us. We are very close, especially me and Alice, since we're sisters.

Emmet is like the goofy older brother that is always making fun of everything and everyone. But when you need him , he will be there to help you. He is also very protective of me, since I'm his little sister. That's why no one at school messes with me. Well, who wouldn't be afraid of Emmet Swan, the star of the Forks football team? He's huge and anyone would be intimidated by him. But if you know him you'll see that he's just like a giant teddy bear that you want to hug.

Alice on the other hand is really tiny, like a pixie with short spiky hair. You could say she's my best friend but I can't talk to her about everything because we don't like the same things. She's very energetic and likes to shop a lot and I'm , well, I'm me. Boring little Bella Swan, Chief Swan's daughter, the geek, who likes to read classics in her free time.

Our parents now is a different story. My dad, Charlie, is the chief of police in our little rainy town, Forks. My mom left us soon after I was born so my dad had to play both roles. I'm happy though with the way things are. And when I needed a girls talk I had Alice. I couldn't hold a grudge to my mom. She had her reasons.

Okay, so first day of school. It's a special day today because we have some new neighbors move in across the street. They are the family of the famous doctor Carlisle Cullen. Everyone says we are lucky that he accepted the Forks Hospital's offer and agreed to move here. I don't know much about him except that he has three kids and his wife's name is Esme. I overheard my dad saying that on the phone.

I'm nervous about that more than I am about school. I never had neighbors. The house closer to mine is one block away. So I start wondering, what would the Cullen kids be like? I know for sure they're older than me. But are they nice?

These are the things I'm thinking about as my dad drives me to school today. When we arrive I'm a little reluctant to get off but my dad encourages me with his words. I kiss him goodbye and get out. On my way to my first class I saw Angela. She just waived at me and smiled. I did the same and went on.

The popular kids included Angela and Ben, the only people worth mentioning but anyway, Lauren Mallory, the most mean girl at Forks High, Jessica Stanley, Lauren's dumb follower and Mike Newton, who has a crush on me since forever but is dumb as hell.

School was boring as always and lunch came soon. I sat at my usual table, alone and started reading my favorite book Wuthering Heights while eating my apple. After that, school finished in a blur and I found myself in my dad's car once more, anxious to meet my new neighbors.

The first thing I saw when I got out of my car was my siblings talking to the Cullen kids, I assumed. So, I went to introduce myself.

"Um, hi."

"Oh, hello dear! You must be Bella. I'm Esme Cullen, nice to meet you. Your brother and sister were talking about you." She said with a smile.

"Nice to meet you too Mrs. Cullen" I said shyly.

"You can call me Esme my dear. Well, I should leave you kids alone now. I have stuff to do anyway." And with a wink, she left. I liked her.

"Well Bella, let me introduce you to Jasper and Rosalie Cullen," my sister said.

"Nice to meet you Bella," said Jasper. He was tall and nice built, with blond hair. He was handsome I guess.

"You too," I answered lamely. He seemed very nice.

Rosalie on the other hand, was more intimidating and definitely the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She's tall with long blond hair and blue eyes. She greeted me I assume but I didn't hear it because then I saw the most handsome man I have ever seen. He had bronze hair that stood out in every direction and a defined jaw. But that's not what I noticed first. His eyes were the most perfect shade of green and they were so deep you would think that you could see his soul through them. I must have been lost in his eyes because next thing I know he was right in front of me and he had his hand extended to me. That's when I heard the most beautiful sound I have ever heard.

"Um hi? Can you hear me? I'm Edward."

"Oh sorry. I dozed off for a while. Um I'm Bella" I said and I shook his hand.

When I touched him though, the most bizarre thing happened. It was like an electric current went through my whole body and it wasn't unpleasant. I just stood there, looking into his eyes while our hands were still connected until my sister spoke.

"So Bella, now you have met all the Cullens I think we should throw a welcoming party for them!"

Ugh, Alice loved parties. I hated them. Let's leave it at that.

"Oh no, you shouldn't do that just for us." Jasper said.

"Well, listen now my friend." Emmet said, "when Alice decides something, you can't get it out of her head."

I didn't hear what they said next because Edward started talking to me.

"So I see you like The Beatles?"

"Um how do you know?"

"It's on the badge you have on your bag." He said smiling.

"Oh. Yeah I like them. They're one of the best bands ever." I said, blushing a deep shade of red.

"Yeah, I love them. So how old are you? Aren't you a little young to like the Beatles?"

"I'm fourteen and I don't think there's a proper age to like good music. How old are you?" I said shyly.

"I'm 22 years old."

"Aren't you supposed to go to a university or something?" Alice intervened.

"Um yeah I study at the Seattle University."Edward answered.

"What's your major?" I asked. I couldn't take my eyes off of him and all I wanted was to keep him talking so I could hear his velvet voice.

"I'm majoring in music."

"Eddie here is a piano prodigy." Laughed Rosalie

"Piano? Really? Bella always wanted to learn playing the piano!" Alice said excitedly.

Everyone turned to look at me then and I felt like all my blood concentrated on my face at that moment, blushing hard.

"Well maybe I can teach you if you want." Edward told me, smiling.

"Um yeah, that would be nice."

"Cool. We'll start whenever you want then."

"Tomorrow." I said a little too quickly, causing him to laugh at my excitement.

"Okay then."

"Well, we have to go now so we'll see you at school." Alice said.

We all said our goodbyes and we parted ways. I heard Edward calling after me and I stopped and turned around.

"Tomorrow, after school come here and we will start our lessons. Is that okay with you?"he said

"Yes."I said lamely.

"Okay then." he smiled. He began to walk away, leaving me watching him and before he entered the house he said "Oh and I like the T-shirt." And with that, he was gone.

I looked down at me and I realized that I was wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm not normal".

And with that, I had my very first crush on the one person that was bound to change my life.

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**ok so here is the 1st chapter!!!what did you guys think?please review and tell me your ideas as well. ;) the 2nd chapter will be up soon.**

**Oh and do you think it should be just BPOV or EPOV as well??**


	2. Piano lessons

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, all the characters belong to Stephanie Meyer, i just own the plot of this story.**

**Hey again!!so i was on fire yesterday so here's the 2nd chapter already!!!i will start working on the 3rd one immediately and it will be EPOV! thank you to all the people who reviewed and favourited my story!thank you so so much!!  
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** Chapter 2**

**Piano lessons**

BPOV

I spent most of my evening thinking about Edward. I couldn't like him. He's so much older than me. But love has no age right? Wait, what? Love? I barely know him, I can't love him. It's just a silly teenage crush, right? Yeah keep telling yourself that Bella.

Tomorrow we are going to start our piano lessons. I couldn't be happier. I get to spend time with the most gorgeous man on earth. I get to learn more about him. Hmm I should think of topics so that we can talk.

I fell asleep thinking about my angel. I decided that that's what I was going to call him from now on. Well, not in front of him of course.

I dreamed of the most beautiful pair of green eyes looking at me and of his velvet voice. That was the best night sleep I had ever had.

I woke up cheerful and I got ready for school really quickly. My dad was looking at me curiously because he has never seen me so excited I guess.

Today was the first time that I couldn't concentrate at school. I was so anxious for the day to be over so I could go to him that I didn't even see the ball coming at gym, so it hit me. But in the end it was for the best because I was able to leave earlier, faking to be in pain.

So now, here I am, outside his door, ready to ring the bell. Just when I was about to the door opens and here he is, looking like a Greek god. I find myself immediately blushing.

"Hi." He said, giving me the most beautiful crooked smile I ever saw.

I got lost again in his eyes and couldn't form a coherent response. Damn! Note to self: don't ever look him directly in the eyes. So I just blurted out a muted hi.

"We are alone I hope you don't mind." He looked a little…concerned?

"Um no, it's ok. We will have more silence anyway." I said. I mean who would pass a chance being alone with an angel?

"Ok then. Come in."

And with that we started our first piano lesson.

Edward was a great teacher. I mean he is so patient and whenever I made a mistake- which was often- he didn't get mad or anything he just showed me again. Our hands would brush just a little and I would feel the electric current flowing through me again. It was like heaven.

We spent 3 hours practicing and when I looked out the window it was starting to get dark. But before I could say anything Edward spoke.

"It's getting dark. You should go."

"Yes, that's what I was thinking" I smiled.

"You should smile more often. I like your smile" he told me.

Blood rushed to my face so I said shyly "I like your smile too" and I got up to leave. When I was at the threshold Edward grabbed my hand gently to stop me.

"I don't think it's proper for you to go out alone now. I should walk you to your door." He said.

"Edward, I live across the street."I teased.

"Still. What would your father think of me if I left you alone in the dark?"he said mockingly.

I didn't want to leave him yet anyway so I agreed. When we were outside my door I turned to look at him with sad eyes. He looked sad as well.

"Thank you for the lesson Edward, it was really nice."I said.

"How about you come tomorrow again, same time?"he said looking at me through his long eye lashes.

"Yeah, I'd like that."

He smiled widely and my expression mirrored his. Then the most perfect thing happened. He leaned and kissed me on the cheek.

"Goodnight, Bella."

I didn't have a chance to say goodnight because he left and I was glued on the floor. His lips left a hot trail on my cheek and for that brief moment I thought I was on fire.

I eventually got in and thought back of my day. Edward seemed to like me. Well not the way I like him surely but he seemed to want to be friends. And who am I to deny him that?

So I did my homework, got undressed again, brushed my teeth and went to sleep with the memory of Edward's kiss in my mind. This time I dreamed of him and our piano lesson but instead of our hands brushing against each other, he was holding mine with his like the world depended on it.

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Next day, I woke up with a smile on my face and anxious for the day to begin.

School was same as always and here I am sitting at the Cullen living room with my Edward. Wait, _my_ Edward?

"Bella, did you hear me?"

"Oh, sorry what did you say?"

"I said do you want anything to drink?"

"No, thank you. Edward can I ask you something?"I said.

"Sure, you can ask me anything you want."

"Why music? I mean, why did you choose to major in music? Is it because you're good at it?"

"That's a nice question. No, it's not just because I'm good at it. I found that music relaxes me. When I had a bad day or I want to get something out of me I just have to play or listen to music. It's like there's no world when I play the piano." He spoke with such passion for his music that I was mesmerized. His eyes held a strange gleam. I could never imagine he felt that way.

After that we continued our lesson in peace. When I got up to take my books Edward spoke.

"Why do you like the classics so much? I mean why Wuthering Heights?"

"The classics are unique. Writers aren't like that in our days. And as for Wuthering Heights, it's because nothing can keep Catherine and Heathcliff apart."

He stared at me for a moment and said "Are you really fourteen? Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a grown up woman."

I blushed. "Yeah, supposedly I was born 30 years old and I get older every year" I replied.

And then he laughed, and his crystal clear laugh was the most amazing sound besides his voice.

He walked me home again and kissed me goodnight like yesterday. I did my night routine and slept. I dreamed happy dreams, of my angel.

The next two weeks passed by in a blur and Edward and I fell into a routine. Every day I would go to his house and we would practice and talk. I found that not only does he like the Beatles, but Green Day as well.

"You have to be kidding me!"I said, "The Notebook can't be your favorite movie!"

"Because I'm a guy, right? Yeah, I know but what can I say? I cry like a baby every time I watch it!"

We both laughed and fell into an easy conversation.

In those weeks that I've known Edward, he has become my best friend. We immediately clicked and I've even talked to him about my mother, a taboo subject for me. He talked about his parents a bit too. He seems to really love his family.

But we weren't the only ones that became friends. Our siblings seem to have taken a…liking to one another. Jasper is always with Alice and Emmet with Rosalie. Edward and I have placed our bets on how soon they will be together.

Edward and I didn't only hang out on our lessons now but he started coming to my house as well and we started to go out for walks too. My dad wasn't all that happy because of our age difference but he said that Edward could at least protect me from others or from my klutzy self.

On our Friday piano lesson, Edward asked me if I wanted to get a ride with him to school since he found a job and my school was on his way there. So I made Charlie agree and here I am now, Monday morning sitting on the Volvo passenger sit with my angel next to me. Today he looks really nice. He's wearing dark jeans and a deep green button down shirt. He must look good at work I guess.

Edward doesn't really need the money. His father makes a lot as the famous doctor he is and his mom is an interior designer that has many offices at Seattle and Port Angeles. When I asked him why he wanted to work he said he didn't want to ask his parents for money and that he didn't have anything else to do so he took the job. Since he is almost done with his studies he doesn't need to go to Seattle more than three times a week.

We listen to Green Day on our way to my school and we occasionally sing along. He , of course, has a perfect voice and he doesn't make fun of me when I make mistakes. He just looks at me and smiles. And I melt…again.

My day passed quickly mostly because I was thinking about Edward again. But Gym came, the time I most dreaded. Mike Newton was my teammate so I had no option but to talk to him.

"Hi Mike."

"Oh hi Bella!" he said cheerfully. "Um so Bella look. Homecoming is near and I wanted to know if you would like to go with me. As in a date. With me."

Oh no! That's what I've been dreading all along! Hmm how do I blow him off politely?

"Sorry Mike but I don't do dances. And besides I have somewhere else to be that night." Big lie.

"Oh it's okay. Mind if I ask where?" Yes.

"Um I'm going out with my friend Edward" God, why do I even start lying?

"Edward? Edward Cullen? Isn't he like 30?"

"No, he's 22 and I don't see where that's your business." And with that the bell rang. Saved by the bell, how cliché!

"Look Mike I have to go. See ya!" I didn't give him a chance to reply as I rushed to the lockers to get changed.

When I left the building a surprise was waiting for me. Instead of seeing my dad with his cruiser I saw _his _silver Volvo. He was here?

"Hi" he said flashing his prefect crooked smile.

"Um hi?" it came out as a question, damn him and his eyes! "What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I asked your dad if I could take you from school too and he said ok. So now you're stuck with me." He smiled.

And then I did something I never expected I would do. I hugged him and thanked him for saving me from the awkward ride with Charlie.

"You're welcome Bells. If I knew you would be so happy I would have done that a long time ago" he laughed. "So, ready for our lesson?"

"Yes" I smiled widely and got into the car.

He started the car and we left, both still smiling.

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**Ok so here goes the 2nd chapter!!i don't know about you but i liked it better than the 1st...:p anyway, thank you again for reading!!**


	3. Edward

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, it all belongs to Stephanie Meyer, i just own the plot.**

**Hey readers! Thank you to all who read, reviewed and favourited my story! Si here's the EPOV of the story...i want to make sure that noone thinks Edward is a perv..:S he doesn't think of Bella _that _way...ok so enough talk...see you down!**

**Enjoy!**

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CHAPTER 3**

_**Edward**_

**EPOV**

This morning we're moving. We used to live in Chicago, where I was born but now my dad wanted us to move somewhere better so he accepted the Fork's Hospital's offer.

So now, here I am , unpacking things in my new room. I must say, it's a really nice house. Very big and open and surrounded by trees. The walls are white and the windows are big. We even have a pool in our back yard.

My room is more my style. White walls as well, a big window where my bed will be put and it has enough room for all my CDs and my guitar of course.

I look out my window and I see some kids talking to my brother and sister. Ah, my siblings. They look a lot alike because they have both taken after my father whereas I look like my mother. They both have blue eyes and blond hair and they're beautiful. But most of all, they are the best siblings a brother could ask for.

Jasper is quiet and very passionate. He can play the guitar almost as good as I can and he is really interested in World War I and II. He loves history in general, it has always been his favorite subject.

Rosalie now is another story. She can be bitchy and cold sometimes but deep down she's one of the best people I know. People are often intimidated by her because of her appearance. She's really beautiful, like a supermodel.

As for my parents, my dad is a doctor. When I was younger he wanted me to follow his steps but when he saw how much I loved music, he couldn't argue with me anymore. He is very protective of us and he really loves us. I guess I got something from him too. He is wise and I always go to him first when I seek advice.

My mother is an interior designer and she adores her job, but not more than she loves us. She's the most compassionate person I have ever met and she is the only one I can really trust. I remember that she was always there when I needed her, even for the smallest things, like a cut.

So now I go downstairs to introduce myself to our new neighbors but I stop in my tracks when I see _her._

She must be really young, fourteen, fifteen maybe? But she is most definitely the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. Even Rosalie holds no chance against her. She wears a gray T-shirt that says "I'm not normal". Hmm she's smart and funny.

So I go on and introduce myself. She seems a little distracted at first but then we shake hands and I feel an electric current flow throughout my body. I don't know what it was but it felt warm and…nice. I look into her eyes and I see the answers to all my unanswered questions. They are chocolate brown and so big I could lose myself in them.

When she turned around I noticed that she had a Beatles pin on her bag. She's got a nice taste in music too. So I ask her if she likes them and she says yes. I ask her then what her age was . Fourteen huh? I thought so. She doesn't look older physically but mentally, she may be even older than me. You can tell as much just by talking to her for ten minutes.

So the conversation shifts and I grab any chance that gets to me. I wholeheartedly agreed to teach her how to play the piano. This meant extra time trying to figure out my little mysterious neighbor.

By the end of our conversation I realized one thing. Bella Swan is definitely not a normal person. She's more than that. She's perfect.

I keep thinking about her all night and all day, fighting with myself. My most noble side tells me to leave her alone and ignore her so that she could go on with her life and don't have someone so much older than her be with her and feel what I feel for her.

But my most selfish side won, the one telling me to stay with her and be her friend because I wanted to get to know her and I wanted to be the one to solve the puzzle that was Bella Swan.

But how _do _I feel about her? I mean, she's too young to like her…romantically. All I know is that I want to be with her and protect her. Am I so bad because I want her to be happy? She seemed happy when I volunteered to be her teacher so I don't feel guilty for doing it. But I couldn't love Bella…at least not yet.

Next morning I woke up in a good mood, waiting all day for Bella to arrive. And when she did I couldn't be happier. We started our first lesson and everything went smoothly. Every time we touched I felt the electricity again. I wonder if she can feel it too. But no, she would never like me that way. She would be disgusted if I told her and she would think I am a pervert. But I don't want anything from her. I just want to be near her.

Yeah, good one Edward, start talking to yourself now. This shows you are totally normal.

I walk her to her door mostly because I didn't want her to go so soon but also because I was afraid that something bad would happen to her even if her house was across the street.

The thing that amazed me most is how comfortable she seemed to be around me. Our conversations came easily and even if we didn't know what to talk about, the silence wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. It was just relaxing and soothing.

The next weeks passed really quick and Bella and I became more and more closer each day that passed. We now had daily piano lessons.

This may sound strange but I one of the reasons why I got the job was because of Bella. I wanted to have a reason to spent more time with her during the day. I would never tell her that though.

So, she seemed happy when I told her that I could drive her to school every day. Monday morning in my car we had a really good time, laughing and singing along to our favorite songs. I wanted more of our time so when I was at work I decided to do something I never expected I would do. I called her father.

"Hello, police department, chief Swan speaking."

"Um good morning sir. This is Edward, Edward Cullen"

There was a pause at the other end of the line so I thought he was registering what he was hearing. It must seem really weird to get phone calls from me.

"Hello Edward. Did something happen?"

But of course, as a father he would first think of his daughter's safety. "No sir, everything's fine, Bella is at school safe and sound."

"Oh," he paused "So is there a reason you called?"

"Um yes sir, I just wanted to ask you if I could pick Bella up from her school too. This way you won't have to live your office earlier and she can come right to my house to start our piano lessons. It's not a problem for me as I get off my work the same time she finishes school and it's on my way so" I was starting to lose it, too nervous to stop talking but I somehow managed.

The long pause on the other line told me that he was contemplating what I was saying and he was assessing every information I gave him. I finally heard the magic word that made me the happiest man.

"Ok. But be sure that if anything happens to her or she isn't back when she is supposed to, I will hunt you down." Wow .

"Um ok sir I promise you. I wouldn't want anything bad happening to Bella anyway. Thank you very much. Have a nice day sir."

"You too Edward, you too." And with that he hang up.

When I arrived at her school, I turned the engine off and got out to wait for her. When I spotted her she looked…anxious to leave? And that's when I noticed a blond boy running to catch up with her but he didn't have the chance because she saw me and rushed to me.

Hmm who is that boy? Her boyfriend? I already despise him. I should ask her about it later.

When I told her that she was stuck with me from now on she hugged me…and I couldn't be more content. The electricity was stronger than before and I just wanted to hold her forever. She smelled so sweet, like roses and freesia.

So we got into my baby, my car that is, and we drove. Just before we left the school parking lot, I saw that blond boy from the rearview mirror and he was looking at us. He looked angry and…jealous. Could he be jealous of me? I smiled at the thought.

During our short trip to my house I kept thinking of this boy. Maybe she liked him too. And then she would be his girlfriend if she isn't already that is. He was cute. Puppy face, blue eyes, short spiky hair. Yeah I hate that kid.

"Just say it Edward." Her sweet voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Say what?"

"You've been torturing yourself with something since we left. So spit it out." How well she knew me. I smiled internally at that.

"Well, I couldn't help but notice the boy that was behind you when you came."I said, looking at my hands that were on my lap.

"And?" she urged me.

"And I wanted to know if he…if he was your…boyfriend or something." I looked up at her when I finished.

She seemed to contemplate that and then she answered "No".

"Oh" I said lamely "it's just that you know, if he was then you should be careful because you're young and he's a boy" I was rambling without really knowing what I was saying. Thank goodness she knows me so well so she laughed and said

"Edward, I understand. Don't strain yourself anymore." She teased me while still laughing.

"Oh you think you're funny don't you?"and with that I started tickling her. I knew Bella was very ticklish so I took advantage of it every time I could. "Say you're sorry Bells" I said.

"Ok! Ok! I surrender! I'm sorry!" she laughed. She had turned red from laughing so hard so I stopped and I looked at her. I mean , I _really_ looked at her.

Even now, with her cheeks red and a little sweat on her forehead from all the laughing, she was the most beautiful being on earth. I couldn't help myself from smiling. She smiled too.

"Bella I …" I started to say but she cut me and said "We should go inside and start our lesson."

"Okay" I said.

Today, we didn't practice as much as we normally do. We just sat down and we talked and talked for hours, analyzing every bit of each other's lives. We talked about interests, our childhood, our families, everything.

By the end of our lesson I had learned that Bella's favorite color is green, she likes junk food, she hates sports, she has had three concussions (note to self: be extremely attentive and protect her even more. Yeah like that was even possible.) and she has a soft spot for puppies.

But all those things couldn't compare to what I saw every day: her real self with all her flaws, well if she had any. I loved that side of Bella, the carefree one. I liked the T-shirt she wore that first day we met and I liked that Bella would never be normal as other kids are.

She would always be _my_ Bella.

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**ok so that was chapter 3!!!what did you think??**

**ok so i have some questions...i have the whole plot figured out in my head but i need a little help...so bella won't be 14 for ever cause that would be illegal and wrong on so many levels...but i need your opinion...do you think Edward should be her 1st kiss when she's 15 or not because she's too young? nothing will happen between them until she's at least 16...sorry!and what did you think of epov??isn't he like the sweetest??lol hmm what else...oh i would like to apologise because in the next chapters i'm gonna run a little...and by that i mean i will go faster because i have so much i want to right and bella must get a little older, don't you think?ok that's all and sorry for the long note!!:P please review and tell me what you think.  
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	4. Realization

**Hey readers! well thank you to everyone who reviewed! this chapter is not as long as the last one but i think it's nice...:p anyway, enjoy!**

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Chapter 4

**Realization**

**BPOV**

When Edward asked me about Mike I have to admit I was a little confused. I mean, how did he notice him and why did he care? I mean, don't get me wrong, I was doing a happy dance on the inside when he asked me because it showed that he cared for me, but what was his reason behind it? Was it because of what he said or did he have an ulterior motive?

Yeah like what Bella? Like he secretly loves you and you will be together forever and have little bronze haired babies? Yeah, right.

But he did seem a little jealous, didn't he? Maybe it was because he thought that if I liked Mike, we wouldn't spend so much time together. Yeah, that was probably it. He was used to us hanging out as I am.

Being with Edward is both a curse and a blessing. It's a curse because I have to constantly look at him and see what I like and I can't ever have but it's a blessing because I get to have as my best friend the best and most handsome man ever alive.

Edward has become really protective of me. I mean _really _protective. He won't let me go anywhere without him knowing and he has never been late at our appointments. Also, when we go out to Port Angeles for a movie or because I want to buy some books, he always keeps me close to him and he has an angry face whenever boys approach me.

But despite all these I like it when we go to Port Angeles together because he holds my hand every time. He probably sees me as his little sister but he can't ever imagine how happy I am when he holds me.

So the months pass by, all too quickly because I spent most of my time with my angel and you know what they say. Time goes faster when you're having a good time and without me knowing, exams were just around the corner.

In those months, I have started hanging out with Angela and Ben. They are really nice and they are now together. So we study together a lot and we help each other whenever we need it.

Edward was also helping me with my homework, since he knew more than me. So we studied together, for our exams. Oh I forgot to mention, Edward had his finals too. He would be getting his diploma soon and I couldn't be more proud of him.

We have left our piano lessons a little behind since we both didn't have so much time. But Saturday night, as we were watching TV on my couch, he seemed to be somewhere else, deep in thought. So I moved a little closer to him so that I was touching him.

"Edward, what is it? You know you can tell me anything."

He looked at me with sad eyes and told me "Bella, I was thinking of what I should do next, now that I'm graduating."

"Oh" was my lame reply.

"Yeah." He somehow seemed even more sad.

"There's more, something you aren't telling me" I said.

"Well, I had applied to a graduate school in England and I just found out that I was accepted. It's a really nice opportunity and it opens my way as a musician. But it's a year. I will have to live there for a year."

I thought about it. He has to go? My angel has to go? No…But I can't think like that! It's his future we're talking about. I can't be selfish about that.

"Edward, I think you should go."

He looked up at me then with a sad face and he said "But I don't want to leave you."

My heart broke into a million pieces at his expression and I started to cry. I should be stronger but I couldn't. my angel will be away from me for a whole year.

"Edward you can't think like that. You think I don't want you to stay? Of course I do but you have to think of your future. Edward, you have to go. And we will talk! You'll visit me and maybe I'll visit too." I tried to be strong for him but my voice broke at the end.

"Bella, I promise you, no matter what we won't grow apart. Please don't cry, I can't stand it." I looked up at him and a tear fell from his eyes too. I wiped it away and hugged him. We stood like that for what seemed like hours until my dad , Alice and Emmet walked in so we had to move. We had stopped crying by now and we both tried to look okay. Edward said something about not wanting to interrupt and he left.

"Bella! Guess what!" Alice said.

"What is it Alice?"

"Emmet got into NYU! He's going to play football there and major in engineering!"

"Well thanks for letting me tell her the good news Al." Emmet said.

"Oups" Alice giggled.

What?! So now, not only does Edward live, but Emmet too? But I couldn't bring myself to be any more sad. I mean, of course I would miss my brother but it's for his good and he could visit us whenever he liked, whereas Edward would live so far away.

"That's great news Emmet!" I run and hugged him tightly.

"Thanks Belly! And you can come and visit me whenever you like!"

"Yeah Emmet I will, thank you."

"I'm really proud of you son." my dad said. They hugged and we all talked about Emmet a bit at dinner. I had a restless sleep tonight. I dreamed of Edward but this time I couldn't get to him because it was like someone was pulling him away. I woke up screaming and I couldn't sleep after that.

"Good morning" Edward said when I got into his car.

"Morning" I replied a little harshly.

"Someone woke up at the wrong side of the bed" he teased.

"I'm sorry Edward it's just that I didn't sleep well last night." Let's just leave it at that.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he looked concerned.

"Um I just had a nightmare. Did you know that Emmet is going to NYU next year?"I asked

"Yeah, Rosalie got accepted too. I guess they will be together next year" he said and he winked at him. With that, I lost all train of coherent thought.

The next few days passed by quickly and finals came. I was studying all the time and so was Edward, so we hadn't really seen each other for weeks. I couldn't take it anymore and I was happy that exams where finally over. But as happy as I was , I was also really sad, because he would have to go in a few months.

"Will you even be here on my birthday?" I asked him suddenly as we were walking home. Today, he didn't come to pick me from school with his car because he said he wanted to enjoy as much time as we had.

"Of course. I won't leave till the end of September so don't worry, my Bella." He smiled and I got lost again in his eyes. I forgot all about him leaving and I just concentrated on this moment.

"Edward I will miss you so much." Huh, this came out of nowhere.

"I'll miss you too, my Bella" and he hugged me. Right now, I couldn't be happier because I knew that whatever life threw at us, we would overcome it and we would be fine in the end.

"I promise you, I'll never leave you." he said and with that I began crying…again. And then he looked me in the eyes and it seemed to me like he wanted to say something but he just sighed and wiped my tears with his thumb while still holding me.

In that moment I knew that he meant what he said and I stopped crying because I knew he would come back to me eventually.

That's when I realized I was in love with Edward Cullen.

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**so that was it! what did you think? sorry i have to send Edward away but it helps the plot and i promise it won't be too long...:D i have to move fast anyway...so that's the big change that i was talking about when some of you asked me something in your reviews...hehe anyway you know what they say! reviews make an author update sooner!so please review :D**


	5. The meadow

**Hey! sorry for the delay...anyway, here's chapter 5...ah the meadow and edward...;)**

**Enjoy!  
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Chapter 5

The meadow

EPOV

When I applied to the school I wanted to go in England, I never imagined there would be a time I wouldn't want to go. Ever since I was little I dreamed of going there because it would give me a great chance of becoming a great composer. But then, Bella came into my life and everything changed. I don't know if I can leave her all alone. She's so fragile and young. Who will protect her if I leave?

When I told her and she started crying my heart broke into a million pieces. I couldn't stand watching my Bella cry. So I hugged her and pried for her tears to stop. I made her a promise. A promise that I would keep even with my life. We won't grow apart no matter how many miles are between us. Besides, I can't imagine my life without her now.

My sister Rosalie has gotten into NYU as well as Emmet. Something tells me she didn't apply there for any other reason but to be with him. They seem to have started to bond, just like me and my Bella. The same goes with Jasper and Alice.

On a more happy note, summer is coming and I am both happy and sad. Happy because I'm finally getting my diploma and I get to spend more time with Bella as she has no school, but sad because that means that I only have three months with her before I leave.

That's why I decided to spend my whole summer with Bella, here in Forks.

When school finished for the summer, I was there to pick Bella up as usual. She was standing there with a dark haired girl- Angela I remember from our conversations- and a boy who I assumed was Angela's boyfriend from the way he was looking at her.

When Bella turned to look at me her whole face lighted up and I probably looked the same. We seem to have a lot in common lately.

We made our way to my house to start our first summer piano lesson. When we arrived she seemed deep in thought and I was able to go open her door for her. I always wanted to do that with Bella but she was just faster than me, if she didn't trip on her own feet.

"What are you thinking?" I couldn't help but ask. I never wanted in my entire life to be able to read a person's mind so much. But it seems that lately, my life has changed a lot.

"I was just thinking how life would be without you for a year." She said with sad eyes.

My heart broke at her words. I was in a dilemma. Should I stay with her, watch her grow up and protect her? Or go and let her be, even for a year and then come back to her? But every time I thought about it my most noble side won, even if I would be in pain.

"Oh you'll manage. You won't have my cranky ass bothering you all the time."I tried to tease her but she just smiled sadly.

"You're not cranky. And besides, you're my best friend Edward. You're the only one I can talk to."

"You're my best friend too, my Bella. I feel the same way about you. Please stop worrying so much. It's just a year, right?" it seems like I'm trying to make myself believe that and not Bella.

"Yeah. You're right. Wow, who would know we could be so melodramatic." she laughed. "Come on now gramps, let's go" she said.

"Oh you did not just call me gramps!" and with that I grabbed her and threw her into our pool. I have to admit I was a little worried. I didn't want her to catch a cold or anything.

God, get a hold of yourself Edward! It's June!

So I jumped in too and we spent our whole afternoon in there, with our clothes on just enjoying the sun and playing.

It's weird how fast time goes when you're actually happy. Since I met Bella, I was happy all the time.

Every day we would play in my pool and have our piano lessons. But as summer was coming to a close and my days here were becoming less, I decided to give Bella an early birthday present. I would take her to the meadow I found a few months back while wondering in the woods, trying to think and relax. Of course this wouldn't be my only present to Bella but I wanted to share another thing with her, something that meant a lot to me. I don't know why I never told her about the meadow. I guess it just slipped my mind.

Every time I wanted to think about my life or Bella I would go there and sit for hours, just looking up the sky.

So now, here I am, at Bella's doorstep.

"Good morning sunshine. Go get dressed I have something to show you." I said. Her eyes widened and she run up the stairs to her room to get ready. I flinched twice when she was about to trip but somehow she managed to stay upright. I laughed at her enthusiasm and clumsiness.

When she descended, we got into the car and drove off.

"Where are we going?"

"Well, it's a surprise. All I can tell you is that it is an early birthday present for you. You'll see."

"Humph."

"Anxious, aren't we?" I laughed.

"Well, yes. You can't just tell me it's an early present and then don't say anything. It's just like giving a kid a puppy and then say 'Don't touch it'. It's just not fair." She said as she crossed her arms.

"I'm sorry, my Bella but I can't do anything right now. You'll find out in ten minutes I promise you." And then I turn on the radio on her favorite station in hopes that she won't complain. And I'm right. She starts to sing as she always does. I love it when she sings. Sure she may not have the best voice in the world but to me, her voice is like bells.

When we arrived she started to look around, trying to see what the surprise was.

"Oh dear Bella, you are so impatient. Come on, we have some hiking to do before we arrive."I said.

Bella is not good at anything that requires physical exercise. And I mean anything. That includes hiking as well. I had to catch her five times because she kept tripping on tree roots. But it was all worth it because the smile that spread on her face when we arrived was exquisite.

She just stood there, taking everything in. her eyes were glimmering with joy and she had the biggest smile I had ever seen. I was so content in that moment. She liked it. I was somewhat proud.

"Do you like it?" I said.

"No." she answered.

At that my face fell but she was quick to reply.

"I don't just like it Edward. I love it! Where did you find this place?"

I smiled again at that. "I found it by chance one day and I would come here whenever I wanted some alone time. I wanted to share it with you now. You can come here while I'm gone and it will remind you of me."I said a little sadly.

"Oh Edward" she cried "it's perfect. But you don't have to worry about that. You will always be in my mind." she started sobbing.

I run to her and hugged her with all I had. "Sweet Bella, please don't cry. We'll come through. Best friends forever, right?"I said as a tear escaped me too. Truth be told, she was more than my best friend and to say these words hurt.

"Yes Edward. Best friends forever."

We laid down on the grass for what seemed like hours and when it started to get dark I got up.

"It's late Bella. We should go. Your father will be worried about you."

When we were outside her house I hugged her once more and kissed her goodnight on the cheek.

"Goodnight my Bella. Dream happy dreams."

"Goodnight Edward."

As I am laying here on my bed, I can't stop thinking about the next year. Bella will be sixteen when I come back. Maybe she will forget about me. But then that would be best for her. She should live her life and be with kids her age. I may put on a good show for her, that it will be alright, but inside me I'm dying.

How did I get here? If you have told me a few month ago that my life would depend on a fourteen year old girl I would have laughed. But here I am now, as frustrated as ever.

I'm strong, right? Everything will be fine, right? It's just a year. A year hundred miles away from Bella.

Yeah, right everything will _not_ be right.

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**What did you think of chapter 5? like it, hate it, please review? :p oh and sorry it wasn't long...i promise chapter 6 will be longer...;) and in the next few chapters, maybe 7 or 8 something big will happen...and i think that all of you will like it! ;) review and tell me your thoughts and guesses maybe??pretty please with edward on top??haha:p**


	6. Nightmare

**Hey readers!!!sorry i haven't updated for a while but i had a slight writer's block and i'm currently away on an island for my Easter holidays...:p so i won't say much just enjoy and see you down.:p**

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Chapter 6

Nightmare

BPOV

When school ended for the summer, I couldn't be more happier. Exams where over at last and I didn't have any stress anymore. I think I did pretty well, as I had the best tutor in the world. _Edward. My angel._

Summer break meant another thing as well. _More Edward._ Isn't that every girl's dream? To be able to spend a whole summer with the boy they like that by the way is the most handsome man alive?

Yeah Bella, keep hyperventilating.

I was talking with Angela and Ben as we were walking towards the parking lot on our last day of school.

"So what are you guys going to do this summer?"I said.

"Well, I'm going to Hawaii with my parents and my brothers, so I'm really excited!" Angela said.

"I'm going on a computers camp. You know, get to know more about technology." Ben said.

"That's so nice Ben. Is that the career path you want to follow?" I asked.

"Yeah, I think so."

"Bella, there's a gorgeous man looking at you."Angela said suddenly.

I looked and I immediately found Edward. Of course. Well I guess I haven't told Angela about Edward.

"That's Edward. He's my best friend." I smiled.

"Wow." She exclaimed.

"Hey, boyfriend here!" Ben said then, waving a hand in front of Angela and we all laughed.

I didn't get to see what happened next because when I looked into Edward's eyes, the world disappeared. I said goodbye to the guys and walked to my angel. I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face. As I got into the car I couldn't help but wonder what life would be without him. I couldn't fathom how I would be able to live without him now.

I wonder how he feels about me. I guess it's not so hard for him to leave. Besides, I'm just his little neighbor that happens to be his friend. He would never see me as I do. But these thoughts make me so sad. He, of course, notices so he asks me what I think and I tell him. Minus the I-like-him-while-he-doesn't part.

So after confessing that we are best friends, we started to tease each other. In fact, I never thought we_ could_ be so melodramatic. Who would have thought that I wouldn't be able to live without a man? Certainly not me.

Then, in a way to tease him, I call him gramps. Yeah that was funny…for a moment, until he threw me in the pool.

Is it so wrong that even though I wanted him to let me down, I didn't want him to because when I he touched me I felt the weird electricity? Creepy, I know. Does it even make any sense!?

That was one of my best days. We played with Edward all day long in the pool and everything felt _right._ He was like a child, even for a day. I liked that part of Edward too, the childish one.

Time went really quick with my angel. All summer long we played in the pool and we had piano lessons. I have to admit, even though I don't have s strong sense of rhythm – I can't even dance – I was getting quite good at piano. I could now play some songs without even making a mistake. I was really proud of myself and every time I glanced at Edward he seemed proud of me too. But I guess it's only to be expected since I have the best teacher in the world.

When Edward showed up at my doorstep I have to admit I was a little surprised. I mean it was 7 am for Christ's sake! But I wasn't mad or anything because the moment he said present I knew I had to know what it was. So I run up the stairs – almost fell down two times – and got ready super fast.

I couldn't think of what my surprise would be so I asked Edward to tell me. He wouldn't crack though.

When we arrived I was confused. Where was my surprise? The forest? So when Edward told me that we had to hike for a while two sentiments were created; the first one was relief that my surprise wasn't just this and the second was worry. I mean I couldn't walk without tripping. How would I _hike?_ But I thankfully managed with the help of my angel.

You can't even imagine what I felt the moment I saw the meadow. Fascination, adoration, thankfulness were some of my sentiments.

He asked me if I liked it. I said no. The right verb is loved. I _loved _it! I haven't seen anything as beautiful! Well, except Edward, of course. There were all kinds of flowers but mostly purple and blue ones. It was so big! And the sun made the flowers glow. I could look at it all day.

His face fell at my words and I realized my mistake so I replied quickly my true answer. When he told me that he wanted to leave something to remind me of him I couldn't help myself from crying. I must be an awful friend. Haven't I showed him how I feel? He will always be in my thoughts, always. I tell him so and he hugs me. Right here, in his arms, that's my definition of heaven. He makes all my fears go away so I stop crying. We just stood there, laying and gazing at the sky. I don't know how long we were there but eventually he stood up and told me that we should get going. I didn't argue because my father _will_ be worried if I go home late.

As we are outside my house and he's ready to kiss me goodnight, I can't help but think what it would be like if he didn't have to live. Oh my, that would be great. But who said life is fair?

So we hug and kiss and say goodnight and I spend all night having the same nightmare. Edward is right in front of me, calling me but I can't get to him. I scream and I feel hands around me. I try to push them away. I wake up and I see my brother.

"Shhh, calm down Bellie. It's just a dream little sis."

I try to calm down but the nightmare was so livid that I start to cry again and Emmet stays with me all night, trying to soothe me. But his arms aren't the ones I need to calm me.

When I see Edward the next day I know he knows that I'm off. He seems worried about me but I tell him I'm just fine.

August passed and school would open soon. Edward was starting to move things to his apartment in London already. He found one on the internet. It's more of a mansion then an apartment.

My birthday is just a few days away but this is the first year I don't want that day to come. Why? Because that's the day that Edward has to leave. Ironic much? Well he lives at night so at least I'll get to spend the day with him.

First day of school again and I am even more gloomy. But I guess school will be a distraction at least.

One year since I met Edward. One whole year with my angel. And now I will have to pass the next year without him. Perfect.

The days pass even faster and my birthday is tomorrow. Today, my angel and I are going to our meadow again.

"Bella, please don't be like that. All these weeks I've seen you get sadder every day. Please, I can't stand it anymore." He pleads with me.

"Oh I wouldn't be so sad if you didn't have to get that stupid offer. First time in my life I have a good friend and now you have to leave. Great, just great." I don't know where the outburst came from but it felt good to be able to get it out of my chest. I was in hysterics, I was crying. Edward came over to hug me but I pushed him away.

"Leave Edward! Just leave! Go away! Leave me all alone as my mother did!"I screamed.

Now that was a blow below the belt and I knew it. I didn't mean it but I couldn't stop myself. His expression turned to one of extreme sadness. I couldn't bear it. He placed his hands on either side of my face, forcing me to look him in the eyes.

"Listen to me Bella, and listen to me well" he was angry, I could tell. "I am _not _going to leave you. I am not your mother Bella. I know this is hard for you and it's hard for me too. Do you think it's easy for me to go? I will be all alone there Bella and I won't have my little friend with me! So please don't do this. I won't leave you and you know why? Because I love you Bella."

Okay, what? Did he just…. Did he just say _he loves me? _I looked at him with curious eyes. He loves me?

"You…you love…you love me?" I asked. Stupid Bella!

"Yes Bells. You're my best friend of course I love you."

Yeah nice one Bella. Way ahead of yourself. What did you think he meant?

"I…" well that was hard. The only person I used to tell I love you was my mother. Now look where that got me.

"I think we should go Bella."

I got up and we left, just like that.

On the car ride home I kept thinking of what Edward said. _He loves me._ Okay, I know he thinks of me as his little sister but still. Edward loves me. My angel loves me.

_I love you too, Edward._

Why couldn't I say it? Would he leave me too if I said it? Would he stay there forever? Edward got me out of my thoughts, telling me we're home. He hugged me again but this time he wasn't successful in taking my fears away.

So when I went to sleep I had the same nightmare but it was worse. So much worse. This time Edward said he loves me and I run to catch him but I can't. and then he disappears. And everything goes black and I keep screaming his name. that's when I wake up.

I start to sob and I can't calm down. there's only one person that can calm me now and that's Edward. So I don't know how I do it but I somehow manage to sneak out and now I here I stand, outside Edward's room. I'm lucky he's on the first floor and I don't have to climb anything.

I knock his window and after five minutes or so I see him. When he seems me, he quickly opens the window and pull me inside.

"Bella, what are you doing here at 2 am? Are you crazy? It's freezing outside!" he said worriedly, his voice hoarse, thick with sleep. But then he realizes I'm sobbing and he hugs me tight to him.

"Bells, what is it?"

"Edward I had a nightmare. Please can I sleep with you tonight?"I say between my sobs.

"Bella…I don't know. Your father..." he closes his eyes as he says this. Yes, my father would be a problem. But I guess I'll have to deal with him in the morning.

"Please Edward. I need you."I look up at him as I say this.

"Bella…okay." he said. He seemed reluctant but I couldn't think about this now. I just needed him.

"Um well, you sleep in my bed and I'll sleep on the couch." he said.

"Edward? Can you please sleep with me? Please, need you." I couldn't help my tears at this point. I cried incessantly.

"Okay Bella. But just for tonight."

So I snuggled deep into Edward's arms and I inhaled his sweet scent. This was absolute bliss. And my angel is leaving tomorrow. I won't have him by my side for a year. This could not get any worse. I started to sob again at the thought and Edward hugged me tighter. It calmed me enough to fall asleep.

This time I didn't have any dreams at all.

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**Whew, that was chapter 6....so what did you think?!?! was my idea of them just sleeping together good??did you like the chapter???next chapter is Bella's birthday and a little surprise at the end;p i promise you will like it...so, reviews will make me update faster even if i'm on holiday!!:P**


	7. Birthday Surprise

**Ok sorry for the delay but i had a lot going on...also i won't be able to update for some days....i haven't written anything for 2 weeks...but chapter 8 is ready...and again thank you for reading my story**

**Disclaimer:i don't own the characters just the plot.  
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Chapter 7**

EPOV

I fell asleep thinking about Bella again and I had a dreamless night.

When I see Bella next morning, something just doesn't seem right. There's something…off. I don't know what it is. She doesn't seem good at all. What could have happened?

"Bella, are you okay?" I ask, concerned.

"Yeah Edward. I'm fine. Don't worry about it." I didn't believe her one bit but I didn't push her more because I knew that she would tell me eventually and now she just wanted me to let her be.

So day by day, more of my stuff were arriving in my apartment in London. I have to say that every day that passes is a living hell for me because I start to really realize that I will be gone in a few days. And the irony! I would be leaving on Bella's birthday. And I still don't know what to get her.

Bella has started school again. So one day, while I'm walking from my work to my car I see it. There, in a jewellery shop, my eye caught the most perfect gift for my Bella. It was a heart shaped silver pendant and the word "Yours" was carved on it. It was the perfect gift! Something to remind her of me and this way I could somehow show her what she means to me.

I didn't even look at the price tag. It meant nothing to me. My Bella was worth more. I could buy her the world and it still wouldn't be enough.

When we're at our meadow, I think back to the day I bought her the heart. It is a token of my heart. I give it to her. Well, I gave it to her from the moment I laid eyes on her but she doesn't know.

I can't help but beg Bella not to be sad. All the while we are here, she didn't stop having the most excruciating face. It was sear agony to see her get worse as the days pass.

And then she explodes. I don't know where all these emotions come from but I understand her. I feel the exact same way. I go and hug her close to me and let her cry in my arms. I've never seen her like this. I was sure I was going to die from the pain in my chest just from seeing her.

After a few moments she screamed for me to leave and she said to leave her like her mother did.

What did I say before? That I would die just from the sight of her crying? Yeah, scratch that. When she mouthed this words it hurt. And it hurt a lot. But I wouldn't leave her. No! what did she think? That I would leave her?! I was so mad now.

"Listen to me Bella, and listen to me well. I am _not _going to leave you. I am not your mother Bella. I know this is hard for you and it's hard for me too. Do you think it's easy for me to go? I will be all alone there Bella and I won't have my little friend with me! So please don't do this. I won't leave you and you know why? Because I love you Bella."

Did I just…say that I loved Bella? Out loud? Yes, I was certain that I loved her but I didn't want her to find out like this. This was our first fight. I wanted it to be special when I told her.

"You…you love…you love me?" she asked. How could she doubt me after a year? Of course I love you my sweet, little Bella.

"Yes Bells. You're my best friend of course I love you." My best friend and my soul mate, my entire universe. But I would scare her if I told her.

"I.." she started to say, looking confused but I just told her that we should get going.

So we left and the fact that she didn't say that she loves me too didn't go unnoticed. It hurt, but I didn't say anything. I masked my pain well. I hugged her goodnight and left.

I didn't want to think why Bella didn't say she loved me back. She's young and confused. And I'm her first best friend. Besides, I would wait for her forever if I had to.

A little later, I heard something. I look at my clock. It's 2 in the morning. And someone was knocking at my window? What the hell?

I go to see who it is and I am speechless_. Bella? _What could she possibly be doing here so late?

"Bella, what are you doing here at 2 am? Are you crazy? It's freezing outside!" I say. But as I see her better, I realize that she is crying. Not just crying, sobbing. I bring her into my arms and hug her tight. Oh, my Bella.

She says she had a nightmare and that she wants to sleep here. Wait, what?! Sleep here? In my room? I am reluctant and I am going to say no but then she looks at me with her big brown eyes and I can't help myself. So I let her sleep with me. In my bed. _With_ me. I hugged her as we lay on my bed and she fell fast asleep.

I look down at her face._ My sweet Bella, what am I going to do with you?_ So with her in my arms, I slept better than I had for weeks.

Next morning I woke up with my Bella in my arms. I couldn't be happier. And since I woke up first, I held her tighter and I watched her sleep.

She was so peaceful as she slept, unaware of my stare. Her bottom lip was a little pouty and her head was resting on my shoulder. I couldn't take my eyes off of her lips. And her _scent_…it was so inviting that I couldn't help myself from leaning closer. Our lips were inches apart when she started to move and I came back to reality. What was I doing?! I pulled back as quickly as I could and I got off bed.

Luckily, she didn't wake up. I started to pace and I pulled my hair, thinking of what I was about to do. I couldn't take Bella's first kiss in her sleep. What kind of a man does that? No, no that would be the act of a coward. But as I turned and looked at her I couldn't help my jealousy.

What if she had her first kiss while I was away with some _other _boy? Could I stand it? So I decided that tonight I was going to kiss Bella for the first time. You could call it a second birthday present. If she wanted it that is. I would never push myself on Bella. If she didn't want me I would leave and never come back.

I decided to go take a shower as Bella was still asleep and then I would make her breakfast. It _is _her birthday after all.

So after my shower I go downstairs. Everyone's gone. And I couldn't care less where they were. Today is going to be dedicated to Bella exclusively.

I would make pancakes. Bella's favorite breakfast. I even wrote happy birthday on them with the syrup. It wasn't easy but come on, I would do anything for her.

I hear Bella coming down the staircase and I quickly make my last preparations.

"Happy Birthday, my Bella!" I exclaim as she comes into the room.

"Whoa Edward! Did you make all this by yourself?" she looked stunned.

"Yes, who else could have done that?"

"Oh Edward!" she runs to me and jumps into my waiting arms.

"Happy Birthday Bella." I say again as I inhale her scent.

"Thank you Edward. For everything." She says and I can see that she is ready to cry so I caress her cheek.

"Come on, let's eat." I say.

So we ate in silence and I was throwing glances at her all the time and every time our eyes met, she smiled.

I had plans for today; I would take Bella to our meadow again and I would give her the present there. _Both _presents, I smiled to myself.

"So Bella, I want to give you your present at our meadow. Is that okay with you?"

"Um yeah, sure. But you shouldn't have bought me anything." she said.

"Yeah, right! Like I would have done that!" I laughed.

We made our way to our meadow. I made sure to take a basket with me as we would have a picnic there. We have brought hamburgers and juice. Really healthy stuff.

When we sat down and prepared everything Bella said "Okay, give it to me."

"Oh no, missy. You're not getting it until we have lunch."

Bella scoffed but didn't say anything as we sat down and began our picnic. I looked at her as she ate. Bella in the sun was breathtaking. Her cheeks were a little flushed and her hair had a tint of red in them_. Beautiful. _She caught me looking at her and she blushed deeper as a stray hair made its way to her face.

Before I knew what I was doing I caught that hair with my finger and put it behind her ear while caressing her cheek. It was so soft and warm and I realized that this would be the perfect time for our kiss. If she wanted of course. But I decided to wait.

"Um…so, where's my gift?" Bella said, looking down.

" Oh right. Well I hope you like it. I saw it and just bought it." Now I was really nervous. What if she didn't like it?!

I watched Bella unwrap it and gasp when she saw the little box. But she gasped louder when she opened it and saw the necklace.

"Edward…it's…perfect!" she said as she jumped on me and hugged me.

"Wow Bella I would have gotten it for you sooner if I knew that you would like it so much."

"Of course I like it silly. It's perfect. Thank you so much, you shouldn't have."

"Well, o thought that you should have something from me to remind you what you mean to me. I'm your friend, Bella. Always." But the pendant didn't mean that of course. But it was too early to tell her the real meaning. She would freak out.

"You are my friend to Edward." She said as her eyes began to water.

We passed the whole afternoon laying on the grass, in each other's arms, prolonging the inevitable.

"Bella, we have to go." I said as it was getting darker.

"No, if we live now it means I won't see you again for a long time." She said starting to cry again.

"It's okay Bella. Besides I have to give you the second part of your gift." I say.

That got her going and we left.

In the car I kept thinking of what I was about to do. Bella was technically fifteen now. It wouldn't be too early to kiss her, right? What if she pushed me away? I would be devastated but it would be what Bella wanted so I would accept it.

When we arrived she looked at me expectantly but I still couldn't do it and I just had a few hours before I had to leave.

"Change of plans. What do you say if we hang out for a while and then you come with me to the airport?" I say, wanting to have more time with her.

"Um okay just let me ask Alice if she can drive us there."

"Oh no, my mom will take us so that she can bring you back."

So we just hang in my room, preparing my last things and crying together.

"Edward sweetie, it's time." My mom calls from downstairs.

I hold Bella in my arms as we sit in the car and while we wait at the airport. I even buy her chocolate that I know she loves but even that can't make her smile now. But she doesn't cry now. No, she has cried enough these days.

But then, they announce my flight and I have to go. We can't prolong it any more.

"Bella look, I have to go. But before I go I want to do something." I say as I cap her cheek.

"Whatever you want Edward." She says breathlessly.

So I lean slowly, testing to see if she will push me away. The last thing I heard was her gasp and then my lips were on hers for the first time.

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**Here it isss!!!!the first cliffy!!:p sorry....well, not really;) i hope this will get you to review more...i love reading your reviews, they give me the strengh to write more...:D thank you**


	8. The First Kiss

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, everything belongs to SM, i just own the plot of this story.  
**

**Ok! so here's the big moment we've all been waiting for!!;) the kiss....i worked hard on this chapter while i was away and when i came back...so please reaview and remember it is the first time i've ever written anything. :D**

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Chapter 8**

**_The first kiss_**

**BPOV**

Next morning I woke up from the best night's sleep I've ever had. I slept in Edward's arms. What could make me happier? As I descend from the staircase I wonder where Edward is.

And then I remember. Today is my birthday.

I've never really liked birthdays because of all the unwanted attention I get. And the presents. Don't get me wrong, I like presents it's just that I feel bad afterwards. But with Edward I am nervous. Did he remember my birthday? Has he gotten something for me? If yes, what could it be?

I was surprised when I saw Edward in the kitchen and he wished me happy birthday. So, he remembered, I smiled internally. He had made me food that could feed a whole army. Oh my angel.

I was even more surprised when I caught myself running into Edward's waiting arms. What was I doing?! He would know that I like him…

So I thank him and I start to get emotional because he must have really put some thought into it. Everything was perfect. And that's when he touched my cheek. There's the electric current again. But it isn't bad. It feels amazing just as he is.

We ate without saying anything and I would look at him when he wasn't watching but once I caught him looking at me and I couldn't help myself from smiling.

When Edward said that he had gotten me a present I became nervous again but I agreed to go with him.

I was anxious to get my gift when we arrived but he said that we had to eat first. Damn.

So I waited and ate and when I was done he gave it to me. And I couldn't take my eyes off of it. It was…well, I don't have words to describe how perfect it was. A heart shaped pendant. Could the carving mean that Edward is giving me _his _heart? No, silly Bella. He is your friend. He told you so just now. A part of my heart broke at his words but I didn't let it show. And that's when I started to get emotional.

We spend hours at our meadow and we had to leave. I didn't want to go. It would mean that my angel has to go! For a whole year. But Edward persuaded me when he said he would give me the second part of my gift when we leave. That made me nervous again. What could it be? Wasn't the pendant enough?

I didn't understand Edward. One moment he says he will give me the other present when we get home and the other he says that he will wait. I mean, I don't complain because I will get to spend a little more time with him.

So we go to his house and we pack his last things and when his mom tells us that we have to go I want to cry so bad, but I don't. no, I have to be strong for him, for my angel.

In the car he holds me and I feel my heart beating faster as the electricity invades my body. God, I would miss these little things so much. He continues to hold me while we wait for his flight and when he has to leave he turns to me and tells me that he wants to do something before he leaves.

"Whatever you want Edward." I say. Of course, I would give him everything he wanted.

I had only a second to realize what was happening and when I did, I gasped. Then Edward's lips touched mine and the electric current was at its pick. Wait, is Edward _kissing me?!_ Yes Bella you idiot, of course he is.

My thoughts were incoherent but it seemed like my body knew what to do. My eyes closed and my hands tangled in his hair and I pushed myself closer to him as I crushed my lips to his harder. He seemed surprised but he put his hands on my waist and hugged me while returning the kiss. We just stand there in the middle of the airport, kissing.

Our kiss started slow and sweet but now it seemed more urgent, probably he had to leave. After what seemed like hours he let go of my waist and reached behind me to untangle my hands from his hair and he slowly pulled back from my lips. I kept my eyes closed, not believing what just happened. I felt my eyes begin to water. Edward touched my cheek then and said "Bella, please open your eyes."

So I did. I opened my eyes and I saw him. He had a pained expression and all I wanted to do was wipe it out of his face.

"Bella, I wanted to be your first kiss before I leave. And I have to go now. Please take care of yourself and remember, I love you Bella." He said and he started crying as well.

As well? I hadn't realized that I had let my tears fall. This was the second time that Edward told me he loved me. The first one I didn't say it back but now I would.

"I…I love you too, Edward. Always." I said crying harder.

He brought my lips to his one last time and just like that he was gone. I cursed myself for my tears because I couldn't see him anymore. But then I thought that it's for the best as I'm sure I wouldn't be strong enough to see him go.

I just stood there for what seemed like ages, commanding myself to calm down. When I had no tears left I went to the car and when Esme saw me, she hugged me. She was crying too.

"Come on dear. It's okay. We'll be okay. Let's go" she said as she wiped her tears.

Of course, I hadn't thought of Esme. She must be in so much pain as well. I mean her son just left. I looked at her as we were in the car. She is so strong, I wish I could be like her. I could see it in her eyes that it killed her that her son left but she didn't let it show.

"Bella dear you are welcome to come see us whenever you like. I know that now that Edward is gone our house holds no interest to you but it would be nice to see you." She said while smiling at me when we were outside my house.

"Esme that's not true. I love you as my family, you know that. Of course I'll visit now that Edward is…gone." I said and I tried to not cry in front of her. I couldn't even say the words out loud.

Esme hugged me one last time and I went home. When I went to my bedroom I sat on the bed and I cried and cried while thinking of _our _kiss.

_Why _did he kiss me? He said he wanted to be my first kiss. And he was. And I was so happy that he did that. But I'm also so sad and confused. Sad because he left after he kissed me and confused as to why he did it. Don't get me wrong, it was the best kiss a girl could ask for, not that I had any experience but it seemed perfect. The way his lips fit into mine, like they were meant to be. His lips were soft. And they tasted like mint. I smiled to myself. Of course they would taste like mint. He always chewed gums.

And now I'm back to thinking about him but I'm not crying anymore. No, there are no more tears left in me. At least for tonight.

I told him I loved him. I was pleased with myself that I was able to. But he didn't know that it meant more to me than to him. No, he would probably never know.

I look at the clock. It's two am. He's in the plane now. Would he think of me or our kiss? What did it mean to him? To me it was…well, it was everything. The way he touched me and the way he looked at me before he left…

But it couldn't be something like that. Edward is a grown man. He would never fall for a child like me. He probably wanted to be my first kiss because I'm his best friend and he is overprotective after all. He just wouldn't like the thought of another boy kissing me for the first time. That was it, right?

I then went and turned my computer on. I sat there and browsed all the pictures of Edward and I. There were so many. He always said that we should capture every moment of our lives and have it with us forever. I spend hours looking at the pictures and at Edward and then I went back to my bed.

I kept thinking about him all night until sleep took me. As I said tonight I wouldn't cry.

Tonight, I just think of him and dream of his lips. I dreamt that he kissed me because he loved me as in he was in love with me, not because I am his friend. And in the dream he declared his love to me and we kissed.

_Yes Bella, and then you have beautiful babies,_ I thought in my sleep. After that I had a dreamless night.

Next morning I woke up at 11 am. It was Sunday but I've never slept so much. I look around and I saw that I had left my computer on. And then I see the picture of Edward and me at our meadow, smiling and everything dawns on me.

Edward kissed me. My angel kissed me at the airport. I smiled at the thought.

But then I remember again. Edward is gone.

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**Phew...so how was it? did you like it? Hate it? i thought since Bella is still young and it's her first kiss that it should be sweet. :) what did you think?**

**Oh and if you have any special requests, things that you want to happen in this story, don't hesitate sending your ideas and i will do something for you.:D  
**


	9. Tanya

**Hey readers...sorry i haven't updated but my exams started and i'm studying...also there's a huge writter's block going on right now so i don't know when i'll update next...sorry..:/**

**this chapter is what happens the day Edward leaves...:p see you down! :p**

**Disclaimer: I just own the plot...all the charachters are SM's.  
**

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Chapter 9

EPOV

"_Bella look, I have to go. But before I go I want to do something." I say as I cap her cheek._

"_Whatever you want Edward." She says breathlessly._

_So I lean slowly, testing to see if she will push me away. The last thing I heard was her gasp and then my lips were on hers for the first time._

When my lips touched Bella's it was like I wasn't myself anymore. Before, I knew I loved her and I couldn't live without here but only in that moment did I realized that I _needed_ her like I need air.

Kissing Bella can only be described as the most wonderful experience of my life and it wasn't because of the kiss itself but because of all the emotions I felt at the time and because of the magnificent electric current flowing through my body. I never understood what they meant when someone said that a kiss had rocked their world but now I do. Bella had definitely rocked my world.

But a small part of me in the back of my head kept screaming at me that this was wrong. So very wrong. But how could something wrong feel so _right?_ God, I don't even make sense anymore.

As we were standing there, kissing I thought of all the people that would be looking at us. Surely Bella looked so young. Everyone must think I'm some kind of pervert but I couldn't care less because Bella was kissing me back and everything disappeared. She tangled her hands in my hair and just the feel of it made the kiss better. Bella's lips were soft and felt like they were molded for mine. Bella pushed herself onto me and I have to admit that I was taken back.

I thought that _she _would push _me, _not that she would push herself to me. But I didn't complain. I just hugged her to me and kissed her more urgently, realizing that I had only a few more minutes with her. How could I leave her after that? After knowing that she might feel something for me too?

When I pulled back her eyes were closed so I asked her to look at me. I tried to put on a brave face for her but I think I didn't succeed because when she opened her eyes she looked at me sadly.

"Bella, I wanted to be your first kiss before I leave. And I have to go now. Please take care of yourself and remember, I love you Bella."

I really love her but she surely can't understand the extent of my love. I wish I could explain to her my feelings and make her believe that my love for her isn't purely platonic.

So I started crying. Yeah, I fucking cried in the middle of the airport because of my love. I cried because I was angry with myself, because I was leaving. I cried for leaving her behind when I should be there for her. And last I cried because of our situation. I could never be with her.

"I…I love you too, Edward. Always." She said and she broke into sobs.

Her words was music to my ears. When I told Bella I loved her for the first time she didn't say it back but now, hearing these three little words come out of her mouth I couldn't help myself as I took her face in my hands and kissed her again. But I knew I had to go then. So I pulled myself and left without saying anything else because, come on, what else was there left to say? If I said goodbye it would rip me and I'm sure it would crush her too.

I didn't look back as I walked to the gate. I was still crying silently when I got on the plane.

I didn't even notice it when the plane took off so I was startled when a airhostess came and asked me "Excuse me sir, would you like anything to drink?"

"Um no, thank you." I said as I tried to wipe my tears away.

"Sir, are you okay?"she asked, looking sympathetic.

"No, but it doesn't matter." I said and I looked at her for the first time. She seemed around my age. She was rather tall and she had long blond hair. Her eyes were blue and I guess you could say she was hot. _But my Bella is beautiful, _I thought.

"Would you like to talk about it?" she asked, looking genuinely concerned.

"Um…"

"Well, I'll make you a deal." She said. "I offer you a first class seat if you tell me what's bothering you." She smiled.

_Uh oh_, I thought. _Is she trying to be flirty? I guess it's a good deal_. So I took the offer, just because I liked being comfortable and I wanted to tell someone about Bella.

"My name is Tanya by the way." she said.

"Oh, I'm Edward."I said shaking her hand. No electric current flowed through my body as it would have with Bella.

So I started talking and I poured my heart out to a complete stranger, hoping she wouldn't think I'm a weirdo for feeling like that for a fifteen year old girl. But I guess it's easier to tell someone that you don't know than to someone you do. I told her about the day I met Bella, my feelings for her, the university I was going to and the kiss.

"Wow, that's complicated." She said when I was finished.

"Yeah, tell me about it." I mumbled.

"So let me get it straight. You're going to England for a year to study but you don't want to because you're in love with your 15 year old best friend? Wow, that shit's heavy." She laughed.

"Yeah and you know what the worst part is? Everyone will think I'm crazy to love her and I can't tell anyone about it. It kills me not being there with her right now."I said.

"Well, I kinda know how you feel. I had a boyfriend back home and we were together since kindergarten but then I decided I wanted to be a flight attendant and he just couldn't wait for me." She said with a sad expression. It was obvious that she wasn't over him yet.

"Well, the guy must be a jerk Tanya. I think you're really nice."I said, wanting to make her feel better.

"I think you're nice too Edward." She said and I yawned.

"Oh God, I'm sorry Edward. I'm keeping you from sleeping. It's a long flight. Go to sleep and I'll wake you when we're close."

"Okay, thank you Tanya."I said and I turned my head looking out the little window as I fell asleep, thinking of Bella yet again.

I must have been really tired because it seemed I had been sleeping for only an hour when Tanya came to wake me. I guess being emotionally exhausted means that you're also physically exhausted.

As everyone was preparing for landing my thoughts were back to Bella. What is she doing now? Is she sleeping? Is she awake? Is she thinking of me?

Then the plane landed so I got up to get my things. As I approached Tanya I was the last one to leave so I stopped to tell her goodbye.

"It was really nice talking to you Tanya. Thank you." I said while I extended my hand.

"It was nice talking to you too, Edward." She said as she took my hand and she seemed to be thinking of something.

"Well, look I don't do this often but would you like me to give you my number? I promise there's nothing flirty about it. You don't know anyone in town so you could use a friend to show you around. And I don't have to leave for some time so…" she trailed off.

thought about it. She was right. I didn't know anyone here. She could help me and it would be nice to have someone to talk to.

"Okay." I said as she wrote down her number and gave it to me. "I'll call you."I promised.

I left and took a cab to my apartment. It was near the campus. I would be attending Royal Academy of Music.

My apartment was on the fifth floor of a six storey building. I looked at it really well. There was only one other apartment on this floor so it was pretty much like I owned the floor. I laughed because my father surely picked the best for his son.

I went into the apartment and I my mouth fell. _ Wow, _I thought. This place was huge and everything was new and expensive. I had shipped some of my furniture from home but I left the decoration and everything to my mom. It was her job after all.

It reminded me of my home back in Forks, although it had some black and gray tones in addition to the white, so that it was more contemporary. It was just what I liked: simple, open and spacious.

So as I had nothing to do and I wasn't tired I started unpacking. I unpacked every little thing there was in the boxes. I didn't have that many things and I was quick so it took me only two hours. And then I found the scrapbook of Bella and I. It was full of the pictures we had taken. Taking it with me here seemed like a good idea then but now, as I look at it I find that it only makes me miss her more. Even though, I still put the frame with our picture from our meadow on my nightstand.

I spent the next few hours cleaning everything up and packing my last things. By the time I was done I was exhausted so I decided to take a shower and go to sleep. I still had two days till lessons started so I could spend them getting used to the town. Sure, I've been here before with my parents and I knew some stuff but still, I had a lot to learn.

As I was getting ready for bed I decided to text Bella. I told her that I am at my place and I'm safe and sound. I told her that I missed her and that I loved her. Her reply was too quick. _I love you too Edward. Don't forget that while you're there._

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**Whew...sooo that was chapter 9...i hope you liked it...:D i wanted to add a little twist to the story so i added Tanya...**

**what do you think about her? i'm looking forward to reading your reviews people...:p**

**Bye for now  
**


	10. Good surprise or maybe not?

**Hey readers! I'm so sorry i haven't updated all this time but i was busy with my exams and all...and to tell you the truth i'm kinda passing a writer's block right now so...i won't be updating as soon as did in the beginning but the updates will continue, i promise. This is my first story and i love it so i won't give up on it no matter what. I'm even amazed that people read my story :p Thank you, all of you, ffor reading my story and reviewing...it means a lot to me and i always smile when i read your reviews...:) i also want to apologize before hand for any mistakes the story may contain...i'm just a 16 year old girl and english isn't even my maternal language so i'm sorry for any mistakes...soo i won't bore you any longer...sorry for the long writer's note, i just had to tell you these things...:p enjoy chapter 10**

**Disclaimer: yeah yeah i don't own the characters...you know the rest...:p  
**

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**Chapter 10**

**EPOV**

The days went by so quickly I didn't even realize when my courses started. I had to admit, it was a little difficult but nothing I couldn't manage.

On the other hand, I talked to Bella every day and usually more than once. She wasn't really well since I left but with the help of her sisters and my every day phone call, she was getting by. I couldn't help but miss her more when we talked. Every time she would tell me she misses me and she loves me and it would just break my heart.

But when I didn't feel well I had Tanya. I was surprised when I found out how much Tanya and I are alike. She is the only one that can understand what I'm going through because obviously, if I tell Bella it will only make her feel worse. And I don't want her being sad. So Tanya and I have become really close and her advice is special to me.

Days turned into months and before I knew it my exams were just around the corner. I had to study and I didn't have any time so for the next few days I decided I wouldn't go out or talk to anyone. And then it hit me. When I finished my exams, I could go back to Forks and spend the holidays with my family and Bella, of course. Yes! And as I wanted it to be a surprise I decided that I wouldn't talk to Bella for about two week. Well, maybe just a little. If we talked she would surely know that I'm hiding something and then she would make me tell her. And believe me, I can't resist her. I could manage not talking to her for two weeks, right?

So that's what I did. I focused on my studies and talked to Bella just once in a while to see how she was doing. Certainly not long enough for her to figure out what I was hiding.

I also called my parents to inform them that I was coming back in a few days. They were ecstatic so I made my mom promise she wouldn't tell Bella anything because I wanted it to be a surprise.

And now here I am, two weeks later, on a plane to Forks. Tanya helped me get a ticket because everything was booked so naturally, she was on the plane too. We talked for a while about silly things and we made jokes and then I decided to go to sleep. The sooner I would sleep the sooner I would see my Bella.

The plane landed at five pm so I should be home in less than an hour. So I anxiously got up to pick my things and went to say goodbye to Tanya.

"So, this is it. I won't be seeing you for a month." She said, looking sad.

"Aw don't be like that. You will have a whole month without my cranky ass." I joked.

And then she hugged me. I hugged her back but then she started to pull away and before I had a moment to realize what was happening her lips were on mine. I stood frozen for about three seconds, trying to think properly but I couldn't. And then it was over and I still stood frozen.

"Edward, I love you. All those months that we've been friends…my feelings have evolved. I can't even begin to explain. God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Edward."

She put her hands on her face and left me standing there. It could have been hours or maybe just minutes but after a while my brain began to work and I started looking for Tanya but I couldn't find her. So I left. I thought that we would get a chance to talk about it while I was here.

_My God…what just happened?_ I couldn't get myself around it. She said she loved me. Did I love her? Well, yeah I had feelings for her but just as a friend. It was nothing close to what I felt for Bella. So what do I do now? What happens next? I don't want Tanya, I just want to be her friend. How do I explain without hurting her feelings? God, why did this happen now? I'm going to surprise my Bella for crying out loud!

_Bella._ The girl who I love. The girl to whom I haven't talked in two weeks. What will she do when she sees me?

So as I'm sitting in the cab, going home I try to forget about Tanya for a while and focus on Bella. I ask the driver to take me to leave me a block from my house so I can go leave my stuff at my house first.

I go through the back door so I won't have to pass Bella's house. The moment I go in my mom comes and hugs me and I see my dad standing behind the counter.

"Hey mom."

"Edward, I'm so glad you're here!" she exclaims.

I move to my father and hug him too.

"It's nice to have you back son. Even if it is for just a month." He said smiling.

"It's nice to see you. I know there are a lot of things that you want to ask me but please I have something to take care of first." I said, feeling a little guilty for leaving then just when I came back.

"Does it involve Bella? Because poor girl, she hasn't stopped crying for two weeks. The only time she's okay is when she's with that Black boy, down at the reservation."

_Wait, what Black boy?_

"What Black boy?"I asked.

"Oh dear, hasn't Bella told you?"

"We haven't talked properly for two weeks. I wanted to surprise her. Tell me what?"

"Well, it's not my business Edward. You should ask her." She said and left the kitchen.

I stood there thinking about what my mom said. Who was that Black boy? And why was Bella with him? My jealous side started to kick in so I left my suitcase there and left to go find Bella. I had talked with Alice yesterday, so I could plan the whole thing. So when I rang the bell I wasn't surprised that she was the one to open the door.

"Hi Edward! Oh my God, I missed you!" she hugged me and she looked genuinely happy to see me so I hugged her back.

"I missed you too short stuff."I chuckled. "Now, I'm sorry but I believe I have to meet someone." I said, smiling widely.

"Yeah, Bella is in her room. She just got back she was….well, she will surely tell you were she was. Now go upstairs. She will be so happy!"

I didn't let myself think too much of Alice's words so I went to Bella's room and knocked the door.

"Come in!" I heard her day and my heart began to beat faster. I tried to calm myself as I opened the door and saw her sitting on a chair looking out her window with a book on her lap. When she heard me come in she got up and turned to look who it was. Well, I guess she's really surprised. Mission accomplished! When she saw me she just stood there, wide eyed and her book left her hand and hit the floor with a light thud.

"Are you real?" she asked me.

"Well, yeah last time I checked I wasn't Pinocchio." I said, joking.

"Oh my god!" she shouted and run across the room and into my open arms. She jumped and her legs locked around my waist as I hugged her tightly to my chest. I missed her so much. Could it be that her smell gets even better every time I see her? And the electric current that flows in me every time I touch her….it was at its peak right now. I hadn't even realized how much I missed her.

And then she unlocked her legs from my waist and she started hitting me with her little hands on my arm. That's when I noticed she had begun to cry.

"You stupid, selfish prick! Why haven't you called me? It's been two weeks Edward! Two fucking weeks! Do you know what I've been through these weeks?" she shouted at me.

I got hold of her hands, not because she was hurting my but because I didn't want her to hurt herself and I wanted to calm her.

"Bella, hush , please calm down love. I didn't call because I wanted this to be a surprise. I wouldn't be able to keep it a secret if I talked to you. I'm sorry, Bella. I really am." I said and hugged her to me once again.

"Well, I guess it was all worth it since you're here now. I missed you so much!"

"Yeah, I missed you too."

So we spent the rest of the afternoon, catching up with each other's news.

"Oh hey, my mom mentioned a Black boy? Who's he?" I asked trying to be nonchalant about it.

"Jacob? Oh, I haven't had the time to tell you about him have I? Jacob is kinda…one of my friends. We're close. He's the only one that can make me feel nice when I miss you." She said, looking down.

"You haven't been here for months Edward. I was a rack, I still am. But when I'm with Jacob, I'm okay. Not healed, just okay. He helps me and I love him for that. He's the best friend I have after you, of course."

Her words hit me like bricks. Bella had met another boy. A boy her age that she could be with without worrying what the others will say. A boy with whom she could have a normal relationship with. And she loved him. The words crashed me but I tried to keep my poker face on.

"Oh really? Well then, I'm glad someone is here to take care of you when I'm not."

"Yeah, well, you have Tanya there and she helps you. I'm just lucky I found Jacob."

"I guess you are."I said through greeted teeth. _I have to change the topic or else I'm going to drive down there and kill this poor boy._

"So, would you like to go to our meadow tomorrow? Since I haven't been there for months, I figured we should go together." I told her to distract her, but more to distract me.

"Yeah sure! I would love that! I haven't been there for a while…it would be a nice change." she smiled at me.

"Well then, now that that's arranged I have to go. It is getting late."I said and I stood and hugged her tightly again and left.

As I'm laying now on my bed thinking about today, I can't believe that all these things happened. Tanya kissed me and told me she loved me and when I see Bella, _my _Bella, I learn that she has found a boy she loves. _As a friend…she loves him as a friend._ I tried to reassure myself. Yeah but then she will love his as something more. I have to let her go. I can't be here when that happens. But I'm not leaving her for me. No, I would be here for her if I knew I wouldn't stand between them but I'm sure that while I'm here, Bella won't be able to have a normal relationship with this Jacob guy. But I couldn't think about that now. I had almost a month with her and that's what I should focus on.

When you're having a great time, time goes by faster. I hate that shit. I don't even know how these past weeks went by. Every day, I was with my Bella. we did everything together. We went to our meadow almost every day and we made two snowmen when it snowed. When we came back that day we played with our siblings and the snow and I remember that I have never laughed so much in my life. And tomorrow, I have to go back to London.

I decided that I should tell Bella about Tanya. After all, our relationship is based on trust. So when I went to her house I sat on her bed and just blurted it out.

"Tanya kissed me."

I looked at Bella and she was looking at me, not moving so I figured it would be best If I continued. It would hurt less, right?

"She was on the plane with me and I went to say goodbye to her and she hugged me and then kissed me. I don't know how it happened Bella, everything happened so quick. I didn't even have time to push her away. I was frozen. She said that she loved me and that she was sorry and she left."

Bella didn't say anything for what seemed like hours.

"Well, do you love her?" she managed to say, though I could see she was on the verge of tears.

"Well, yeah I love her. But only as a friend. Nothing more Bella, I promise."

"Jacob told me he loved me. And not as a friend." she blurted out.

"What?" I said, gritting my teeth.

"And to think I was so fucking stupid because I felt guilty about this. You're such a hypocrite Edward! You can go and fucking kiss this Tanya and then you get angry when I tell you what Jacob said!" she shouted, not being able to control her tears anymore.

"It's not the same Bella! Can't you see? You're just…"

"What Edward? What? I'm not good enough for someone to love me? I'm too young? Just for once Edward tell me what the fuck you're thinking!"

"No Bella! you are not good enough! You are perfect and this guy doesn't deserve you! And yes, you are too young! Is that what you want to hear?" I was seeing red and I didn't even realized I had said those words until it was too late. I was too harsh and I knew it but I had to let her go. It was time. She would be with Jacob and I would never bother her again.

"Geez, thanks Edward. I'm glad to know that's how you feel. Well then, maybe I don't want to be friends with someone that feels that way!"

"I was thinking the same thing. Goodbye Bella." I said and left, barely containing my tears. When I got outside the tears run freely and I went to my room, slammed the door and started packing my things.

"Edward honey, what happened?" my mom said, knocking my door.

"Nothing, I just remembered, I have to go now. Please call the airport and find me a ticked for the next flight."

"But Edward….why..?"

"Mom please. If you love me don't ask."

She didn't reply so I guess she left. I quickly hugged my mom and dad and left for the airport.

I couldn't believe I just did that.

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**Sooo...this was chapter 10...i hope you liked it...i'm really sorry if some of you did and if you hate what just happened but i have a plan, i promise...;) please review with your thoughts on this so that i can see if you like it and continue with the next chapter...xoxo**


	11. Jacob

**Hi guys! yeah it is me! i'm so sorry i havent updated in a while...i didn't use my laptop so much so...anyway i don't know about this chapter...anyway i'll see you down there :)**

**Disclaimer: i don't own the characters just the plot!  
**

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Chapter 10

BPOV

Time flies when you grieve. It may seem like it doesn't but it does. Even if you feel like you're the one that died inside.

When I saw Edward at my threshold I thought it was one of my dreams again. I couldn't believe my eyes. And when he told me he was real I was ecstatic. All these weeks that we didn't talk and that I was a wreck didn't matter anymore because he was here. My angel had come to see me.

So I ran to him and I hugged him, locking my legs around his waist, keeping him prisoner to me. But then the tears started to fall and I couldn't help myself from screaming at him for all these weeks that he kept himself from me.

But Edward being Edward, he managed to calm me in no time and he held me in his arms. We spent the evening catching up. It was heaven again, just the two of us, in my room, like there was no world outside.

But then, he just had to ask the one thing that could destroy my heaven.

"Oh hey, my mom mentioned a Black boy? Who's he?"

"Jacob? Oh, I haven't had the time to tell you about him have I? Jacob is kinda…one of my friends. We're close. He's the only one that can make me feel nice when I miss you." I said trying to be nonchalant.

In reality, Jacob was like a brother to me. When we were little, we used to play together but then we stopped. So when I saw him again I was happy and we got talking and we just bonded again. So every time that I would feel like shit, Jacob would help me get through it. We were inseparable. But then, one night everything had to change.

I was in Jacob's garage, helping him with his car. He liked fixing cars and he was building his own.

"Bella, I have something I want to tell you…" Jacob had said.

_Oh no…nothing good comes out of those words._

"Yeah Jake, what is it?"

"Well, I know that you think of me as a friend and you are my best friend too. All this time we've been hanging out, it was the best time of my life. But I have to tell you this. I love you Bella." he said, looking me in the eyes.

I didn't think anything out of it. I loved Jacob too.

"I love you too Jake."

"No, you don't understand. I'm _in _love with you Bella." he said and he came closer to kiss me.

My brain began working and just before he leaned I pushed him away.

"I'm sorry Jake I….I can't do this…I'm sorry." I said and I run.

So I had left things with Jake a little awkward. I should talk to him again, he's my best friend here after all.

But I couldn't tell Edward yet. He would be mad. I think.

I saw the look on Edward's face so I continued.

"You haven't been here for months Edward. I was a rack, I still am. But when I'm with Jacob, I'm okay. Not healed, just okay. He helps me and I love him for that. He's the best friend I have after you, of course." I explained.

"Oh really? Well then, I'm glad someone is here to take care of you when I'm not." He said fake smiling. _ Could he be jealous?_

"Yeah, well, you have Tanya there and she helps you. I'm just lucky I found Jacob." I said.

"I guess you are." He said through greeted teeth. I could see he was trying to hold something back but I couldn't put my finger on it so when he changed the subject to our meadow I was glad.

So I spent the rest of the days with Edward, doing whatever came to our minds and I didn't even notice when the days passed. But then, it happened.

"I kissed Tanya" Edward blurted out as we were in my room sitting on my bed.

_Wait, what? He did what? _I was so shocked I couldn't even move. Of course he would like Tanya. I was so stupid to think just for a second, that he might be interested in me, plain old Bella. That maybe our kiss meant to him what it meant to me. Silly Bella for thinking that.

"She was on the plane with me and I went to say goodbye to her and she hugged me and then kissed me. I don't know how it happened Bella, everything happened so quick. I didn't even have time to push her away. I was frozen. She said that she loved me and that she was sorry and she left." He continued.

I didn't want to hear anymore. But I had to be strong.

"Well, do you love her?" I said on the verge of tears.

"Well, yeah I love her. But only as a friend. Nothing more Bella, I promise."

Yeah, as friends. He loved her. She would throw herself at him when they were alone and he wouldn't be able to resist and then….then it's all over.

As it was time for confessions I decided to tell Edward about Jacob.

"Jacob told me he loved me. And not as a friend." I said.

"What?" he said angrily. Well, that ticked him off.

"And to think I was so fucking stupid because I felt guilty about this. You're such a hypocrite Edward! You can go and fucking kiss this Tanya and then you get angry when I tell you what Jacob said!" I shouted, letting my tears fall.

"It's not the same Bella! Can't you see? You're just…"

"What Edward? What? I'm not good enough for someone to love me? I'm too young? Just for once Edward tell me what the fuck you're thinking!"

He was pissing me off right now and I couldn't think anything besides that.

"No Bella! you are not good enough! You are perfect and this guy doesn't deserve you! And yes, you are too young! Is that what you want to hear?"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. After all this time…his opinion about me was this? That I'm too young to be with someone and too immature?

"Geez, thanks Edward. I'm glad to know that's how you feel. Well then, maybe I don't want to be friends with someone that feels that way!" The words were out of my mouth before I was able to control myself and I regretted it instantly. I was ready to apologize when he spoke.

"I was thinking the same thing. Goodbye Bella." he said and he left. He just fucking left.

Edward didn't want to be friends with me anymore. I had ruined our relationship and now he's gone. He's really gone.

I didn't even realize when I started sobbing and I was crying so hard my body was having spasms. I eventually cried myself to sleep and I had a nightmare about Edward leaving and I woke up screaming and found Alice next to me, trying to calm me.

Christmas came and passed and Edward didn't even come home for the holidays. I had tried to call him but each time I picked up the phone, tears would come and I wouldn't be able to go through with it. Who knows if I'll see him again after I graduate. I had found my soul mate and I had lost him because of a silly fight. Every passing day I regret the things I said and I wonder if Edward feels the same.

My chest felt empty. Like there was a huge hole in it that couldn't be mended no matter how hard I tried. At nights, Alice slept with me so I wouldn't have nightmares but they always came. Everyone at school thought I was even weirder now but surprisingly my grades didn't drop. I overheard Alice talking to Esme on the phone one night and she told her that I wasn't myself anymore and that everything I did, I did it mechanically. Everyone was so worried about me but I couldn't think about that right now. I couldn't think about anything. I didn't even went to see Esme, not because I didn't want to or I was mad but because I just couldn't.

About six months after Ed…._Edward…_left I found myself in Jacob's house, hanging out with him like nothing at all happened between us. No awkwardness. Of course, he could see I wasn't myself and he tried talking to me about it but every time he did I would be on the verge of tears and he would change the subject.

When I was with him it was like I was ok. Not like I was before but just okay. I didn't think about _him_ when I was with Jacob and I guess it was a good think. Every day I would spend it with him and I even met his friends. I considered him my best friend in the world but I guess he had other ideas.

"Bella, I know we're best friends and I love it but I every day, I feel like my love for you grows and I can't stand just being friends with you. I want something more Bella. I told you before and I'm gonna say it again…I love you." He said one day when we were out at a diner. He then reached for my hand while looking at me in the eyes.

I just stood there, not knowing what to say. After many moments of silence Jacob said "So? Say something, please."

I didn't know what to say to him. Did I feel that way for Jacob? Do I love him? Well, yeah of course I love him, but do I love him enough for that? If I didn't know Edward I'm sure he would be the one I would be with. And I know that maybe it wasn't the right choice but I said "I love you too Jacob. And I want to…be..more than friends with you too." I didn't know why I decided this. I think I did it because I thought I would never see Edward again. He was gone.

The look on Jacob's face was priceless. His whole face light up and he picked me up in the tightest hug. I just stood there unmoving and let him hug me.

When I went home my whole family knew what happened. So Jacob was so excited huh? My sister didn't seem so happy about that but she didn't say anything and I didn't talk when my father asked me about it. I just went straight to my bed and thought about what happened tonight and what I'm going to do next. Survive I guess, and try to make Jacob happy. He deserves it. He has always been there for me and I can be the right girl for him.

Everything continued as it is. I was with Jacob and everyone knew. He would kiss me and I would kiss him back but each time Edward's face came to my mind and I stopped. From the outside we would seem like the perfect couple and I really fell in love with Jacob in the long run but I always felt like something was missing.

Time went by so quickly. Two years. I have been with Jacob for two whole years now and my senior year was beginning. I would be seventeen in a few days. Nothing had changed. Alice went to college with jasper and Emmett was with Rosalie. He proposed a couple of months back and she said yes. Everything in my life went smoothly. You could say I had the perfect life. A boyfriend and a family who loved me, good grades, perfect friends…what else could I ask for, right? Yeah right…

It's been two years since I last saw Edward.

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**oook that was it...i'm sorry to those of you who didn't want bella to be with jacob but i promise i have a reason for it..and also i knew i went forward two years but we need to see edward and bella together soon, don't we? ;) please review and tell me what you think about this chapter cause i don't think it's any good...:p**


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